This is Me. Hello.

Welcome to my site.  It is a work in progress, much like myself. When I was young (long ago it seems) I had this idea of who I would be when I was an adult. This idea changed often over time, but one thing remained consistant. I thought there would be a “doneness” (that’s not a word, is it?) a feeling of being that would mean I had evolved as much as I was supposed to. This always came with the notion that as soon as I reached this state I would be an ADULT, that I would be all the ME I would ever be. Well, either I’m STILL not an adult (my daily feeling is that I’m not, but my chronoligical number that has attached itself to me says I am) or that strange notion I had as a child was severely mistaken. Course, back then I thought the kids going in and out of the high school were all adults, so it was rather flawed thinking I suppose.

Anyway- as far as who I am, well, I am me. I am all of the me that I will be in this moment, and plenty more to come I guess. I am a Mother, Daughter, Widow, Sister, Child and Adult all at the same time.

I am, at my core, an artist. A photographer to be precise. Always have been, hopefully always will be. I am not so good at delayed gratification, so my medium appeals to me. It’s not so much that I don’t like to put hours into my work- I certainly do, I just like to see it taking the shape of the image I have in my head early on. I like to see the ghost of the final image, to spur on my creative flow. I love to share the emotions in my heart, my soul with those around me. Be it client or just random anybody, I love to make them feel- whatever it is I’m feeling.  And anything they’re feeling is good too, just magnified.

I at one time fancied myself a quasi writer, so you’ll probably get a glimpse of that here as well as my visual representations.. I was a bit bleak in those days, as I did most of my writing in my angst ridden teenage years. I am much more cheerful and optimistic now. I have a great many blessings in my life to be thankful for. Not the least of which are my kids, husband, family. They are an amazing group, I owe much of my self to them.

I grew up in the same town I live in now, though I never thought that would happen. I went to school at night while raising my charming, funny, quirky son until I met, through a convolution of friends, my wonderful Husband. I graduated with a degree that I don’t really use, except for the art part, but since I’m self employed, my employer isn’t too impressed. We added my sweet, girlie, dress wearing, mud puddle and worms loving daughter to the mix almost 2 years after we got hitched. It’s quite the all- American family I’ve got here- heck, we even have the one dog, one cat!

Apart from my art, I have a great obsession with color, good food, & cooking. I occasionally envision myself re-invented to that uber organized mom who has the kids lunches packed, breakfast made and loads of laundry done, folded, and put in their rightful place before the children even get up for school. I am, however, NOT a morning person and really, who has time to be domestic- it’s just going to return to that chaotic upside down state in 5 minutes anyway. Besides, I look weird in chinos and twinsets.

Chocolate isn’t my thing- though I do appreciate it- I love vanilla ice cream, tiramisu, and fruity white wine (though not TOO sweet). I am, at times, some form of vegetarian, only because I’m not so big on the way meat makes me feel. I wear jeans practically every day and imagine I’ll still be sportin’ some gap long n leans well into my 80′s if I make it that far. Please shoot me if I ever show up in long-butt mom jeans, unless it’s a costume party. It’s one of my biggest fears. Seriously.

As far as what you’ll find here- mostly it’ll be images. Client sneak peeks, my personal creative works, the children- I get a lot of the back of their heads as they run away from my camera, but I know their weaknesses and bribe them often. I’ll also have discounts, promotions, things I find interesting or inspirational. It’s going to be a wild ride- so hold on and thanks for coming aboard!

Ok- so now, a few years after writing this, I decided to go back and see what I said, if it still applies. Mostly it does, but as with anyones life, a couple of years can bring big changes. My little family has gone through some tough times and huge changes. Things that have helped me to re-define what I thought I’d be like as an adult, and things that have clearly defined the fact that I AM, deffinately an adult. We added another baby to the mix- she’s a sweet as sugar, amazing little babygirl, she’s my quiet space, my zen. I needed that, OH how I needed that- when my husband was diagnosed with GBM (suffice to say, possibly the WORST cancer imaginable) I was 5 months pregnant with my Charlotte. We lost my husband to the monster Cancer when my baby was just 5 months old. I learned things I wish I had never had to know, I did things I didn’t think were possible for me to do and I faced things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. My family has come out of the past year with wounds and scars, but also with a quiet strength. We know now that we can do anything together. I am sure there will be more challanges to face and there will be more “evolution” in the development of me- I’m OK with that. I know I can do it- whatever it takes. My son is my rock, my first daughter is my heart and my seccond is my soul. With them, I am unstoppable. Now, I am a widow, however I will forever be a photographer, and I am happy to be finding my grove again… so the ride will remain WILD…